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Relationship Difficulties

It is natural to experience difficulties within relationships. Couples who tend to talk these through, learn how to behave or communicate differently and work through these issues generally have a more fulfilling relationship. Relationship problems that deepen over time can cause a relationship breakdown. Problems in the relationship, the commonly relate to the following areas:

Negative communication – this is usually the main source of difficulty for couples. If the couple engage in self downing, e.g. “it’s always my fault. I’m so stupid”, or generalizing judgments of the other person e.g. “he always does this. He is never considerate”, usually create feelings of low mood, mis-trust and resentment. Other communication difficulties include excessively controlling our partner – wanting everything to be completed according to our demands rather than perceiving them as an individual. Having shared overall goals is also important.

Arguing about money – can cause repetitive problems in a relationship. It can also include internal power struggles particularly where there are different beliefs around how money should be spent and different values. There may also be external pressures relating to money, which adds to the stress (e.g. threat of job loss).

Both Partners Overstretched – being busy can be a positive thing for our self- esteem and lead to a varied and rewarding life with plenty to discuss around the dinner table. However, it can also contribute to stress within the relationship, e.g. if home related tasks can be completed or there is no time for quality relationship time. Without agreement on how to complete tasks, it can lead to feelings of resentment. We may also become impatient and not allocate any significant time to the needs of the relationship.

Lack of Sexual Intimacy – this can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and also lack of fulfillment within the relationship as both people feel dissatisfied and unloved.

Parenting approach – differences in values or opinions on how to relate and discipline children can cause tension within relationships. Managing a busy parenting, work and life schedule can mean that little time is allocated to nurturing the relationship.

Online CBT & Mindfulness Counselling provides support for the Individual within the Couple Relationship in the following ways:

  • It works with establishing significant behavioural change
  • How to bring positive attention back into the relationship by re-prioritising the relationship
  • CBT looks at the couple within the relationship to encourage a sense of personal responsibility rather than blaming others. CBT focuses on unhelpful thinking and behaviours contributed within the relationship
  • Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction focuses on developing self and other kindness and understanding within the relationship
  • CBT supports the individual to explore their goals, where they are now and taking a solution focused approach to reaching them
  • Therapy will also explore where we learned our relationship communication style from and how to establish a healthier; more appropriate one for within our own relationship
  • Explores our strengths, limitations and relationship compatibility
  • Establishes effective problem-solving and conflict resolution approaches
  • Provides a space to explore and work through areas of intimacy, gratification and also how we bring enjoyment into our relationship
  • Provides psycho-educational material to support positive communication change

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a type of psychotherapy that looks at:

  • The way you think about yourself/others
  • What you think about the situation or problem you are experiencing and
  • How what you do and feel is influenced by what you think and believe. It includes a solution-focused approach to problems and supports positive change with CBT worksheets

Mindfulness Therapy is beneficial because Mindfulness supports the body and the mind.

  • Integrating Mindfulness improves mental and physical health
  • It helps to relieve stress and improves clarity of mind
  • Mindfulness is supportive in the treatment of depression, low mood, anxiety, couples conflict and stress reduction
  • Mindfulness also helps people to manage painful emotions
(Harvard Medical School)