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Managing Grief

Grief is a very individual process and is different for everyone. Naturally, the loss of someone close to us includes intense and difficult feelings. These feelings are hard to manage and may stay with us for some time, even if it was expected.

Feelings of disbelief and emotional numbness or shock can give way to low mood and anger. We can also experience a sense of depression and anxiety as the longing for the person is accompanied by an acute awareness of their absence. For long-term carers, relief that their loved one is no longer suffering and is gone is followed quickly by guilt for feeling this way and emotions such as hopelessness, loneliness and sadness are common.
E-counselling provides a space to process some of the following difficult emotions that you may experience. It can also feel less lonely to speak with a qualified counsellor about your loss:

  • Disbelief – cannot perceive living without loved one
  • Shock – especially if the death of a loved one is sudden
  • Anger – at their loss and at living a life without them. May also experience anger towards others and try to work out ways that it could have been different
  • Sadness – ongoing feelings of sadness and loss
  • Relief – if the person had a long-term illness
  • Guilt – for feeling relief or accompanied with demanding thoughts, such as, “I should have done more. I should have done it differently.”
  • Depression – feelings of hopelessness about the future without loved one.
  • Anxiety – this can include panic attacks and racing thoughts or excessive worrying about the future
  • Loneliness – naturally accompanies the loss of a loved


Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a type of psychotherapy that looks at:

  • The way you think about yourself/others e.g. reducing self-blaming or critical thinking
  • What you think about the situation or problem you are experiencing and
  • How what you do and feel is influenced by what you think and believe. It includes a solution-focused approach to problems and supports positive change with CBT worksheets

Mindfulness Therapy is beneficial because Mindfulness supports the body and the mind.

  • Integrating Mindfulness improves mental and physical health
  • It helps to relieve stress and improves clarity of mind
  • Mindfulness is supportive in the treatment of depression, low mood, anxiety and stress reduction
  • Mindfulness also helps people to manage painful emotions
(Harvard Medical School)