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Overcoming low self-confidence

Having a reduced sense of self-worth can block us from believing that we can achieve well in our relationships, work or learning situations or social interactions. When our opinion of ourself is low, it can negatively shape what we expect of ourselves and give us an inaccurate view of our abilities – by over focusing on what we are not happy with and not focusing at all on what we do well. An over active internal critic acts as a sergeant major – always available to criticize everything we do or say, at a moments notice! This leads to negative, automatic, self-critical thoughts affecting how we feel and what we do.

Symptoms of Low Self-confidence may include:

  • Anxious and shy in social situations with an overactive internal critic e.g. “they don’t want to hear what I have to say, I’m boring”
  • Withdrawing socially leading to low mood or depression
  • May self-sabotage when feeling low confidence, e.g. binge eat or problem drink
  • Overcompensating in social situations (e.g. buying gifts for other in the hope they may like us)
  • May not engage with new experiences or challenges due to excess fear of failure
  • Reading other peoples minds and deciding that they don’t like you or judge you harshly
  • Over personalize things that don’t work out, “it’s my fault. These things always happen to me”
  • Treating others fairly but not yourself (feeling undeserving)
  • Reluctance to be assertive in regards to your own needs or to put yourself first
  • Over seek reassurance as you believe your own opinion is not valid
  • Expecting little from others or yourself

Online CBT & Mindfulness Counselling aims to support you with:

  • Understanding the role of self-negating thinking in low self-confidence
  • Understanding how your low self regard developed & how to change unhelpful learned beliefs
  • Using CBT worksheets to identify anxious predictions
  • Challenging the self-critical internal critic
  • Enhancing self-acceptance with Mindfulness self-compassion meditations
  • Establishing your bottom line
  • Asserting only what is above your bottom line! E.g. “I have consulted with myself and I would like”
  • Establishing effective assertiveness and communication skills in relationships
  • Reducing anxious thinking with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which has become the most evidence based and verified treatment for reducing anxiety
  • Putting it all into practice – changing habits
  • Learning Mindfulness based stress reduction techniques for social, workplace & personal relationships
  • Provide you with self-supportive statements for difficult situations
  • Teach you coping skills to increase the ‘relaxation response’ instead of the ‘fight or flight’ response e.g. when facing one of your low self-worth triggers. Help you to overcome and manage worry
  • Increasing healthier thinking styles to support you in other areas of your life

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Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a type of psychotherapy that looks at:

  • The way you think about yourself/others
  • What you think about the situation or problem you are experiencing and
  • How what you do and feel is influenced by what you think and believe. It includes a solution-focused approach to problems and supports positive change with CBT worksheets

Mindfulness Therapy is beneficial because Mindfulness supports the body and the mind.

  • Integrating Mindfulness improves mental and physical health
  • It helps to relieve stress and improves clarity of mind
  • Mindfulness is supportive in the treatment of depression, low mood, anxiety, couples conflict and stress reduction
  • Mindfulness also helps people to manage painful emotions
(Harvard Medical School)